07 mars 2005

How a single post can ruin your Monday morning

Oh ok, it didn't actually ruin it, but Synonymous* has made me think of Australia, Scotland and Cameroon in the 10 minutes it took me to read his latest entry, and boy is that cruel.

Funnily enough, I miss all the countries I've ever lived in, but I don't really miss France when I'm abroad. I guess it's due to the fact that France has always been a holiday place more than a "live-in" country, but still, I feel like a bit of a fraud when I say I'm French, and then I'm told I'm arrogant when I describe myself as a citizen of the world. A no-win situation as you can see (also I do admit, it is being a bit of a pretentious arse to describe oneself thus).
Now if you want to understand how schizophrenic I can be, or rather why I'm so screwed up (take my word for it, I am), I'm 32, and I've lived in Algeria, Cameroon, France, Germany, France, Scotland, France, Australia, France. In that order, and 7, 11, 1, 0.5, 0.5, 2, 4, 1, 4 years in each. Apparently one year of my life was spent in planes because that definitely doesn't add up.
I've lived overseas more than in France, and I've hated it at times, but really, I treasure every minute, looking back. Whereas in France, and I don't mean to sound ungrateful or silly or whatever, I've never really felt like I belonged. Really quite strange. Every time I go to Scotland, or England ('cause I'm a bit of a traitor that way), or each time I was in Australia (hopefully I'll go back soon...), it felt like coming home. It doesn't ever do that when I'm flying back to Paris.
And... the clincher... Every time France plays Scotland or Cameroon, in football (soccer) or rugby, I'm torn. I just don't know which side I'm on. I'm honestly cheering both teams on. Now, strangely, that doesn't ever happen with Australia. I love the country, and the people, and still, they just have to lose. But then, I was older when I flew to Oz, not as impressionable or malleable as I was in Scotland or obviously in Cameroon. So maybe that's it.
I don't have a clue. All I know is I'm not a big fan of Mondays, and Synonymous's gone and made sure today starts like a gem. Thank you, petal...

* Have you read his blog? Fun and educational, don't miss out! Also, everything I've always thought of talking about, he's already blogged on. So you're better off switching to his altogether. No, don't. Please.