I've decided to take up yawning instead. All the time. I've just started and it feels good. Slightly woozy, but good.
Also, sneezing. Oh I like sneezing. I was filling my pepper shaker today (thrilling life, right?), and I started sneezing so much I thought I was going to burst a brain vessel. Now, as much as sneezing is close to having an orgasm (I'm not the one saying that, OK, I'm just the one repeating it. Research backs this up.) (Cue single people everywhere rushing to make naked angels in what little snow there is left, just so they get a little bit of excitement.), and I'd love to die a big petite mort, I'm not sure that dying of a sneeze attack would have quite so much glam attached. And I'm not quite ready to check just yet.
Hiccups. Now that's one thing I don't want to replace breathing with. Although the annoying power of a loud case of never-ending hiccups certainly has its appeals... Is there even any breathing involved in the hiccups?
God, I love yawning.