12 juin 2005


This is because I was told in capital letters to write some more fiction. I'm not sure I should, after this.

First date. First date! Excitement, butterflies buzzing around in her stomach, hours-long preparation, dressing, undressing, re-dressing, screaming in frustration, giving up. Oh well. He had asked her out, had he not? He wasn'’t expecting Cameron Diaz.

She'd come back to hers alone, fully intending not to screw up this time: he'd laughed at her jokes. He'd also said he'd call her, and he'd looked keen. He wasn't particularly good-looking, but he had the most incredibly winning smile, corny as that sounded, and that was all she needed, really, someone who smiled like life was good, like she was funny, like he wasn't going to hurt her. And that certainly was a welcome change after the pain James had put her through, both during their time together and after she'd decided that she was maybe worth a little bit more than that. Maybe, mind, but that maybe had been all the possibility she'd needed.

Oh come on, they'd been out THREE whole bloody days ago now, why wasn't he calling her? Had he had second thoughts? He'd had second thoughts. Obviously, he'd had second thoughts. He'd realised that she wasn't that funny, she wasn't that interesting, she certainly wasn't that good-looking, and she wasn't worth a second try. Should she have asked him up? She should have asked him up. Well, of course she should have asked him up, they weren't pimply teenagers anymore, that's what happened at their age, you went on a date, if it went well, you asked him up, if it didn't, you went Dutch. Bloody hell, was she going to screw up every bloody time?


He couldn't believe he'd asked her out. He couldn't believe she'd said yes, for that matter. Oh well, crunch time now, and she hadn't phoned to cancel. He'd half expected her to. Something about her attitude said she didn't really need anybody.

Well, that had gone well! He'd wanted to kiss her, and he'd hoped she would ask him up, although he was kind of glad she hadn't. Plus, when he said he'd call her, she hadn't replied with the "No, I'll call you" that he was dreading. Surely that was good.

Except there he was now, still wondering if it was too early to phone. Typically, Jon and Nick were not helping. And what if she said it wasn't a good idea? He'd be in for a good ribbing then. That'd teach him blabbering about a girl after a first date. But maybe Nick was right. Maybe he shouldn't wait too long. Yet again, as Jon had said, it was only one date, and he hadn't made any promises. "I'll call you" didn't really mean anything. Even if that felt alarmingly like chickening out.


- Hello?
- Hi, it's Bruce. Is this a good time?

I'm gone now. Honestly.

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