It can't all be about me, that's boring

Hey. Let's change the rules.
One of my friends is in the hospital right now, giving birth to her first child. That has me in all kinds of turmoil, elation, joy, fear for her, etc. I can't concentrate on anything really. I'm here all day, as I'm supposed to be doing the housework (before I go on vacation for a week, but more on that soon).
So...
Why don't you talk to me instead?
Plus, that'll give me an opportunity to know my lurkers, who keep coming to this site (thank you) but have never given me a name to put on an IP address... If you're shy, just leave a name. Or a joke. I could do with a joke, I haven't heard one in a while.
Come on, you know you want to.
Or else I'll have another go at fiction. Now, you don't want that, do you.

YAY! (as in update)
It's now 2:15, I'm just back from a night out with the girls, I had a text message that I couldn't read till now (dead battery): it's a girl, and both mummy and baby are fine. Thank you for bearing with me and for wishing them well.