I need a new laugh.
You know those girls whose laughter could attract dogs, it's so high-pitched?
Mine is nothing like that. Nothing. It's more of a throaty affair, without the sexy. Trailer-park, smoker stuff, that's what it is. All aah aah aah and no tee hee. You get the picture, don't you? Because I'm not going to be using technology I don't understand and leave an open mike or anything of the sort around me just so I can get a practical example to post around these parts.
No no, no use insisting.
How do you get a new laugh though? Is practice enough? Because my problem is if I try this looovely trickling or cascading laugh that genuine girls seem to find so easy to launch at the ears of the world, I'll also take on the personality of a bimbo. I don't know why, that's just the way it is. So I'll be laughing high-pitched, talking high-pitched, adding lots of silly sounds at the end of my sentences, and losing a good usable portion of my brains in the process. It's like while I go up the scales, my brain will go down the drain.
I did think of giving up laughter altogether, and sticking to smiles, Mona-Lisa style (I have no shame, you should know that by know). Every now and again, though, a snort will escape me and that'll be the end of that pious wish. Obviously, once I've let out a snort, I might as well just forget about any shreds of dignity that might be ridiculously flapping in the wind behind me, and let the whole thing escalate to the hiccupy stage where I stop breathing and the only thing you hear, at irregular intervals, is an extremely bizarre sound, half-way between a sob and a burp.
So. The whole of today will be devoted to reading and listening to funny stuff, and training. Hee hee hee instead of HA HA HA. Hee hee hee instead of HA HA HA. Hee hee hee instead of HA HA HA. My cheeks are sore already.