05 janvier 2006

Things I hate - part the (n+1)th

Girls who scream like banshees. All the time. And shriek like it's the only way they know to express themselves when they're with their posse, pack, farrow, whatever the word for "group of hysterical girls" is these days.
Teenage girls I can kind of understand, if I go against all my instincts and jump right back to a time I'd really much rather forget, but anyway. Because teenage girls think screaming in a stupid, high-pitched, trilling tone will make them sound more mature, attractive, funny, etc., to whatevah living, breathing, preferably male, creature within a 5-mile radius.
OK. Newsflash, chicas. No it doesn't. At all. At best it makes everybody shudder and cringe and try to smile understandingly - usually resulting in some kind of grimace-y smirk - because let's face it, youth makes you stupid anyway. And I say that with all the love I'm capable of, which, granted, is not much. And at worst, it either makes at least one of us within said 5-mile radius lose an eardrum, patience, and many, many human characteristics; or forget
altogether about the effort at an understanding smile and just think a string of profanities that my watertight morals forbid me to repeat here. And imagine a few unforgivable actions as well.
I've been known to gradually go through all three of those phases. Hard to achieve, and/but surprisingly not very satisfactory or gratifying when I do. Please. For the love of James Blunt and the Pussycat Dolls. Just stop shrieking.

Now. To all you adults who like to think shrieking is the new cleavage. Go jump off a cliff. Now.