Yes. I figured people are coming here for p0rn (please tell me that's not going to worsen my case, please tell me that's not going to worsen my case, please...), they might as well get their share of violence too.
My ficus may be dying. More to the point, I think I may be killing my ficus, although, how, I'm not sure. I may have unwittingly stumbled upon the perfect murder.
Besides the fact that it's saddening to lose something that's been with me for the past ten years - well, apart from the year it stayed with a friend, who's not really a friend anymore but that's totally unrelated, when I left for Australia, and stayed there for another four years (the plant at my friend's, not, unfortunately, me in Australia) - it's very annoying to see so much ingratitude in one inanimate, potted, green for crying out loud (or yellowing in its current situation) creature. Very annoying.
I have cared for it for 5 years in total, watered it, fed it, repotted it, talked to it, furthered its musical tastes more than it could ever have hoped to have them furthered at the flowershop, way more, given it light and darkness in very thoughtful measures, made it laugh I'm sure (hey, I make more people, babies and animals laugh than you'd think, so why not plants? Plants have feelings too, you know) and suddenly, it goes all limp and starts shedding leaves like... like... damn, that metaphor escapes me, whatever... and blames me???
The cheek. I knew I should never have told it about my goldfish. Plus, flushing a ficus down the loo is certainly not going to be quite as easy.
Come on, ficus! Don't give up! Live! Live, for god's sake! Think of the water pipes!