I'm saying this for your own good: you see, until yesterday, I hadn't driven a car (or anything else, for that matter) in over a year.
Well. Well well well, even. Let's just say it was high time I was behind a wheel again, and leave it at that.
For one thing, I have no sense of orientation. At all. None. Sad sad sad stuff. So I may have to make a very abrupt and sudden right at a half-second's notice. Bad, right?
For another thing (?), I love love love to drive but have no sense of how to actually handle a car. Bad, right?
Also, I'm a sore loser in this particular instance, so everything that goes wrong while I drive is the car's fault, not mine (like the clutch and gearshift making bizarre sounds as I go into second gear? Not. my. fault.). Oh no. Which tends to drive (no pun) my dad up the walls as we're on our way to and back from the hospital. Bad, right?
See? A dire situation.
Oh, lie by omission. It's not quite as dire as I make it out to be. I nearly made a friend today. As I was parking - in reverse, because nothing scares me - at the hospital, I noticed a woman was looking my way, showing not a little worry. My window was open, so I smiled and said "It'll be fine, don't worry." And went on to park with a number (not over 10, though, don't be petty) of swerves and reverses and ahead again and back, and... (I have no idea what the actual vocabulary for driving is, can you tell?) but parked the car beautifully. Beautifully.
After nearly fighting with my dad as well. Oh yes. So I stormed out of the car and lit up a cigarette while he went on to my mum's room, and the woman goes "I didn't mean it to sound mean, OK? But I thought you were backing straight into that car there..."
No worries, darling, so did I.