The naughty meme

All right, I haven't posted anything for a couple days. So really I should write something now. Trouble is, it's past 2 in the bloody morning (and no, Monkey 0, not everything happens right now, I'm living proof), I have to get up in the morning (i.e. before noon) to work on a translation that has been bugging me for a while now, the European Constitution is now in French shambles, I've had an emotional evening, what with my ex-workmates throwing me a party and giving me champagne and presents (never a good combination), and forgotten machine and me have been having, well... a pissing contest, really. He's winning, I think. So really, right now, my brains aren't quite up to the task.

However, I got tagged. Again. By Nome, bless her. We've been through all that: if you too want to answer the questions below, say "tag!" in the comments.

Last Five Songs I Listened To:
- A lovely Russian poem whose title I can't remember over a guitar (one of my neighbours, and he's really good)
- Scar tissue (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
- Tutto va bene (Camille Baz Baz)
- Ca c'est vraiment toi (Téléphone)
- The jet song (West Side Story) - was in my head for a couple hours today, so I listened to it, sort of.

Last Five Movies I Saw:
- I heart Huckabees
- The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
- De battre mon coeur s'est arrêté
- Million Dollar Baby
- The swap (technically, made for TV, but it kept me awake till the end, at 3.30 am, so that counts, right?)

Last Five Books I Read
- The sacred art of stealing (C. Brookmyre)
- A damsel in distress (PG Wodehouse)
- La maladie de Sachs (M. Winkler) - still reading
- Pirates, Bats and Dragons, a science adventure (M. Davis) - still reading
- Some book I borrowed from a friend but can't remember the title for the life of me (and yet I'm sure I enjoyed it)

Last Five Cultured Events Attended
- La vie parisienne (opérette)
- La crevette d'acier (concert)
- Love! Valour! Compassion! (theatre play)
- Went to the Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh...
- Heineken Cup final (Rugby) in Edinburgh (come on, rugby in Scotland, all part of the culture, isn't it?)

Last Five Masturbatory Fantasies
- I'm sitting at a potter's wheel and he looks like Patrick Swayze.
- He's using an ice cube while Joe Cocker is urging me to leave my hat on, and he looks like Mickey Rourke (then).
- I say "Hey Goose, you big stud. Take me to bed or lose me forever", and he looks like a combo of Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards and... Tom Skerritt.
- He's videotaping me while I tell him sex lies and he looks like James Spader.
- My wrists are tied to the bed posts with white scarves, an ice pick can be seen in the background and he so doesn't look like Michael Douglas.