18 mai 2006

Words of advice

It's better to have been drunk and be home when the wind's blowing like mad than to be sober and out (when the wind's blowing...). No?
That's what I thought.
Also, and let's be serious here for a couple of seconds. Are there any restaurant managers among you? Well, you listen very carefully, people. Cockroaches. They don't look too good in restaurants. I'm just saying. Especially when they're huge big ones, of the kind that's not really supposed to exist in France.
First, spotting the presence of one because it's very very close to my bag will make me suspicious of your hygiene standards, and you don't really want your customers to be suspicious of your hygiene standards, now, do you?
[Ooops, a sound very similar to a gunshot has just been heard outside of the flat. That would be way too much excitement for one evening. If people start screaming and crying now, I may never get to the end of this post.]
And second, the sheer size of it will also make me wonder if the "restaurant" operation is not simply a cover-up for a chemicals business you might have going in back. Especially considering a hugely famous actress* is having dinner in that same restaurant. Think Kate Moss meets X-Men if you're lost.
Nevertheless, if you're going to have cockroaches roaming your fine establishment anyway, you might want to tell your waiters that squashing them is not advisable. Unless you really want more of them. A lot more of them. Which is your right, after all, but you're going to have to make a choice after a while: customers or cockroaches... And William Styron wrote it better than I ever will, it's a difficult choice to live with.
The good thing about cockroaches in restaurants, though, is that if you spot them before the waiter, alcohol's on the house.
[And about that gunshot? Apparently it wasn't one. Phew.]

* Yeah, OK, maybe not hugely famous.