It is entirely possible that I have finally cracked the secret to a successful job interview. Of course everybody had it cracked before me, but what can I say, I'm slow.
So, anyway, apparently the trick is not to give a fuck. In fact, the less you care about the job that you're being interviewed for, the more likely it is that you'll be seriously considered. And therein lies the rub, doesn't it. When, on the other hand, you do care about the position, you're such a sweaty mess of I-want-to-please-everyone neuroses that no one in their right mind would be prepared to hire you.
So. How to show you don't care? I'm going to just go ahead and take me as a shining example of what to do - or not as the case may be.
The first time I didn't care, I just went there and we both established that I shouldn't even have come. So far so good...
Then I went for a job that I actually wanted, and ten months on, I'm willing to bet a nice chunk of my next salary that my ex future potential employers are still laughing about me, over there in that country that is never getting named here again.
The second time I didn't care about a job, I went and actually said "I'm here because the job office forced me but I'm being considered for a job in a country that I vowed never to blah blah blah, and honestly, I'd rather go there than come here". They phoned me a couple days later to say that if the country-that-blah-blah-blah were to change its f#@king mind, they were very interested. Have you no self-respect, people?
And on Friday, I had an interview for a job that I do not, do not, repeat do not, want. I arrived late - like twenty minutes late -, I'm pretty sure I visibly zoned out several times during the interview (blame my sleep issues, but also? boooring...!) and I asked for more money than they'll ever be willing to give me. They're phoning me back tomorrow. Honestly, if they really do phone me, and if they make so much as a pretend effort to up the salary, I think I'm just going to take the money and run.
Because it's all well and good to have principles and to want to stick by them, but seriously, who gives a fuck?
Life... it just keeps getting better.