So I tried to do squats this morning. Because of a disease I have*, my body grows bone-like things on the muscle of my left thigh, which makes it easier and easier, and mostly unnecessary, to find excuses not to work out, like, ever.
But sometimes, I don't know, call it peer pressure, call it the stupid notion that it would be nice to be healthy in my old age, I give it the old college try. It's fun in an "oh isn't the novelty just darling" kind of way, it's super validating, and it means I get to not exercise again for a good while.
That being said, if you were a teenager in the 80s (fuck that shit, I am already old, man.), when Jamie Lee Curtis' Perfect was all the bleeding rage (what. It was where I grew up, all right?), your expectations of what working out is/feels like and of the benefits it will bring you (health, happiness, John Travolta?) are a teeny bit out of wack and/or proportion. So I'm gonna be honest, when I did all five of my squats and my body didn't suddenly transform into my Body with a capital B (potentially followed by a superscript TM), I felt a little bit cheated.
Which is a very dangerous thing to be when you're going to be having dinner at a Michelin-starred, tapas-style restaurant (it's a work thing!) and you are pretty universally known for your propensity to eat your feelings. My timing is impeccable.
* It's
fine. Doctors assure me I'm not going to die from it, so I can
absolutely go ahead and be all "I HAVE A RARE DISEASE" and complain
about the pain and discomfort, and you can absolutely not give a shit.
2 commentaires:
Sounds wonderfully unpleasant!
Also 5 is a bunch more than zero so go you! I wonder is that why people tweet out their running stats so much, because you can't see the benefits of exercise but people still think they deserve some good vibes. Instead all they get is "urgghhh, I don't need to know you ran 5k this morning, like EVERY morning"
I do make exceptions in my humbug attitude when someone has done something awesome, like run for 10 minutes without stop for the first time, because that is an achievement!
(I'm trying something) @Fence (But I realize it's not going to do a thing. How do you respond to a comment?!) It's the righteousness, isn't it? That's what gets me. (That's not true, I'm literally a little jealous of their abilities and dedication. But the righteousness, man. Quit it with that.)
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