08 février 2006

Do you like scary movies?

Is that scary? Think of your brains inside of your skull. Cooked. I mean, I don't really care for mine, because as far as I know they're boiled hard already. But yours, people, yours! Think of all the cell phones that are around, they're bound, at one time or another, to be in such a position to cook your brains. Right? I wonder if that's why some people speak horrendously loudly when they're on the phone - maybe the waves have already fried their auditive nerve and their hearing is affected? And that would make sense too - not the auditive nerve affecting the hearing, as I'm not even sure there is an auditive nerve but if there is, how does it affect the hearing? -, but the fact that the cooking process would spread from the ear up, after all, unless you speak with your little finger, à la Doctor Evil, in which case it will take a while to reach the brain. In fact, if you use your little finger as a cell phone, chances are it will never reach your brain; chances are the frying wave will ultimately feel like the David Vincent of egg-cooking cell phones, looking for a brain it never found.
OK, so that gives us a bit of time to react and decide whether or not we want to be soft in the head (I think that's funny. Then again, I'm also trying to work out how it is funny, considering it's in contradiction with the rest of the post, but I'm not past that kind of inconsistency, am I?), but what about that? That scares me witless: you never know when they're going to start attacking humans and I don't want wasps to hatch inside of me. Mind you, if my brains are fried by cell phone usage, I suppose wasp surrogacy is the last thing I'll care about... And conversely, if I'm turned into impregnated play-doh by a wasp, frying my brains is an opportunity I don't think I'll pass.
All is right with the world, both threats kind of cancel each other out. Phew.