During my numerous - albeit rarer now - moments of complete deludedness (not a word, I'll grant you that, but 'delusion' doesn't actually cover what I mean. Think nuance. Think subtlety. Yeah, I know.), I used to think I could probably work on TV. This is completely stupid not only for obvious reasons like the lack of a famous uncle and things like that, by the way. Mostly, I can't stand seeing my face on pictures or on a screen. Which, I'm sure you'll agree, is one great big high hurdle for a 5ft3-tall girl on her way to fame and riches.
Am I making sense? No, don't answer that.
A-a-nyway.
So this particular fad of mine was in a very faded state already, and its remains got violently smashed today when I suddenly realized that there were moments of great, great loneliness in a TV studio. I was watching a silly lottery gameshow where people spin a wheel to win between €20,000 and €1,000,000. Scratch me happy indeed. The host, a woman, looked kinda happy that the day's winner was a good-looking man, who had come with his brother, another good-looking chap. So she tried to engage in conversation with them both, as she does, so that the show can look less like a retake on "grab the money and run" and more like a friendly "we're giving you the money, there's no need for the weapon" kind of thing.
Except she got mostly blank stares and silly giggles. Which are annoying sounds when a girl is making them, but when it's a man... it's kind of embarrassing. Now, I don't want comments like "he was on TV, it was probably just shyness". Yes, it probably was. It doesn't change the fact that you could almost see the woman's eyes screaming "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here...!". Cured me for good.
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