The wind hates left-handed people

It's time someone stood up and said it out loud. The wind hates left-handed people.
So the other day I was cleaning the flat before my parents arrived, just to prevent my mom's first gesture being grabbing the hoover and such other torture instruments... and the weather was unseasonably warm. Like 15 degrees (C, not F — 15°F is unseasonably cold even for Canada, right? Right? Please?).
I had opened all the windows to enjoy the fresh air, no electric heating, the wind blowing all the bad wintery vibes and stale cigarette smoke away, etc. And I was taking a wee breather from the noxious fumes of the floor-wiping product. And having a cigarette. As you do while airing your flat, really.
Let me say it again for emphasis: the wind hates left-handed people.
Also. It's now been raining for 5 consecutive days. Almost non stop. Where do I complain?